Thursday, December 10, 2009

What I'm going to be when I grow up...


For as long as I can remember my parents have encouraged me to think about what I want to be when I grow up. In kindergarten I told my teacher I wanted to be a concert violinist, even though I didn’t play the violin. In third grade I was going to be a lawyer, a model, run an orphanage, and have my own family. When you’re little it seems there’s no bounds to what you can become. Of course by the time I reached middle school it seemed like anything I wanted to be was so far beyond me. But I quietly pursued dreams of being a photographer, an interior decorator, a dance teacher, a mom, a wife, a writer, and even owning my own boutique.
As the end of high school loomed I began to feel pressure to pick something to be. Before I knew it I was telling everyone I was going to be an English major. Not exactly my dream, but it was responsible. I had the option of teaching if it was absolutely necessary later on in life. But I wasn’t excited for the future. In my first semester of college I signed up for an intro to American Lit class, to test the waters. I’m grateful that I was able to quickly confirm that an English major was not for me. After three semesters at Dixie, I realized for reasons more social than academic, I wanted to move to BYU. I was grateful to be accepted, but there was the fear of not getting into the right program that hung over me like a rain cloud. I changed my major on nearly a weekly basis until one day I got the best advice I’ve ever been given. “Do what you love. Do what you think about when you don’t have too, “ was the advice given to me by my spectacled hero. The advice was simple, but true.
My heart knew I didn’t swoon over grading English papers, or translating documents into Spanish, dissecting animals, or performing in front of masses of people. As I thought about what it is I truly love, who I love, and where I love to be. My major manifested itself to me. My love of family, sewing, baking, organizing, and all things related to the home were obvious indicators that I needed to pursue a Home and Family Living major. It’s not a degree that will catapult me into a lavish lifestyle and it’s definitely not a degree that I get a standing ovation for. Most of the time when I tell people my major they stare at me blankly and ask what kind of job I could do with that. But that’s another component of this major that I’m so excited about. I feel like I’m in third grade again telling my mom things like “I’m going to be an interior decorator, a wedding dress designer, a journalist for the Martha Stewart Magazine, a mom, a children’s clothing designer, a wife.”
I guess there isn’t one thing in particular that I’m planning on becoming but a combination of many things. But if I had to sum up exactly what it is I want to be I would say that when I grow up I want to be a creative person, ever creating. Whether it’s cookies for a fifth grade Valentines party, a pinecone garland, copying a dress I saw in a magazine, Halloween costumes, birthday cakes, “Get Well Soon” cards, a place called home, or whatever the occasion calls for I want to be able to create something beautiful.

2 comments:

Rob said...

Hey, pal. You never told me you were a blogger...

jessica renae said...

sabrina, this is beautiful! i mirror your feelings almost exactly, and i understand the frustration at the blank look you get when you tell people your major. but i know how you feel!! it's a love! and it will feel so good to do what you know you love to do! i can't wait for you!