I believe.

"It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods... to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship...All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to (this) destination. It is in light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another."

-C.S. Lewis

Today I:

(The lovely Sienna Valley)

Slept in.

Drank a hot cup of tea.

Did homework.

Dreamt about the Sienna Valley.

Made a big pot of soup for my roommates.

Bought a can of pumpkin puree.

Bundled up.

Wore my black and white houndstooth jacket that makes me feel French.

Fell in love with my curly hair.

Wanted to kidnap the sweetest little baby at the grocery store.

Finished my laundry.

Wished I had eaten lunch.

Decided "it's not the end of the world".

Carbo-loaded. I'm not even running a race.

Decided that I'm so glad to be one day closer to the weekend.

xo

Snuggled.

Tonight I am feeling...yucky.

I'm sure it's a combination of not enough sleep and too much to do. pray it's not the flu.

Right now I'm snuggled in my favorite quilt dreaming of home and plans.

My brain is a cluttered mess of incomplete thoughts, but one.

I'm so grateful.

For everything.

I have everything.

What a beautiful thought.

Thank you friends, for letting me have this little corner of the world where I can share my thoughts, the beautiful and otherwise.

xo

Nutella Pancakes

Tonight I made Nutella Pancakes for dinner.

During the process of pouring, mixing, and flipping my mind wandered to last semester.

For me last semester meant change.

I moved out of my parents house.

I left the beautiful warmth of Southern Utah.

I started going to a new school.

I switched majors.

I grew my bangs out. a smallish sort of change. but change nevertheless.

Change was an everyday occurrence.

My biggest attempt at change was dating someone I mostly liked, but never could've loved, in hopes of forgetting a certain someone.

I found out that the heart is a very stubborn sort of organ.

Not keen on change.

My heart kindly told my brain, "No thank you. Not him."

And my brain said, "Please? I need change."

And then my heart and my head stopped speaking for a while.

Guess what? you- what?

Ultimately my heart won the battle.

I had to tell the boy "later gator" and as you can imagine he wasn't happy.

Because even though I wanted to change my heart I couldn't.

Not even for him.

Not even for me.

While I was washing the dishes tonight I decided that the theme for this semester is going to be patience.

Patience with:

myself.

my family.

change.

my heart.

time.

things I can't control.

And that's why this scripture (Alma 7:23) is my mantra for the semester.

"And now I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive."

Patience, darlings.

xo

A Book.

Marie: I'm looking for a book... something that can help me deal with what might be an awkward situation. Something funny might be nice, but not necessarily big, 'ha, ha, ha,' 'laugh, laugh, laugh' funny, and certainly not make-fun-of-other-people funny but rather something human-funny. And, uh, if it could uh, sneak up on you, surprise you, and at the same time make you think that what you thought wasn't only right, in a wrong kind of way, but when you're wrong, there's a certain rightness in your wrongness... Well, what I mean is, more importantly, I'm looking to be swept up! And at the same time, not.

Dan: Well, you rarely find all that in one book.

What would you suggest?

xo

p.s. I love Dan in Real Life. If you haven't seen it you need to.

Right now

I'm thankful for:

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal cookies in the oven.

Clean sheets.

Two eyes that see though I'm sure they would see better if I used my glasses.

Rain outside my window.

Ann of Green Gables.

A car that goes.

A mom who never stops loving.

A dad who never stops giving.

A day that is simply perfectly perfect.

xo

(Sigh)

(The cutest pie. Even with a messy face)

I had a good weekend.

Did you?

I hope so.

Mine was full of:

Fia.

Wiggle Cars.

Mexican Trains, or Chicken Foot:)

Sharay.

Side walk chalk.

Eating cantaloupe out of the same bowl as 3 of my favorite people.

Jeems. such a pleasant surprise.

Watching water handstand instruction. yes , there is a story behind this.

Eating way too much salsa.

Laughter turned into snorting. you know who you are.

Phase 10.

Threats. a result from playing Phase 10.

Hiking at the hottest part of the day. best idea ever!

A beautiful Italian Sunday meal.

What seemed like a very short ride back to Provo.

Here's to a great week!

xo

Motherhood 101

Last weekend while I was home my niece "Fia" was also staying at my parents house.

Fia, is 18 months old, and is the silliest goose I know.

She's usually a quite the clown, but this weekend she had a nasty cold.

Every time she let out a wheezy cough my heart tore.

The weekend went by with no more than a lapse of her ability to hear me (because she chose not to) but was otherwise uneventful.

On Sunday morning I heard her wake up.

"Mom. MOM. Mommy. Mimmy. Mummy. Mama. Mammy.MOM!"

I walked in her room and pulled her out of her pack n' play.

She rubbed her eyes and nestled her head on my shoulder.

I couldn't help but think how amazing being a mother must be.

Fast forward two hours and we're sitting in a pew at church.

We made it through the first 15 minutes with little to no problems.

Until, the deacons started passing the sacrament.

I forgot to give Fia a piece of bread from the sacrament tray, which ended in protest.

Luckily, the deacon saw and came back so the little saint could have her bread, and eat it too.

Eat she did.

As the boy was walking back she protested again.

"Mo!"

Suddenly, a monster unleashed.

A fruit snack eating, goldfish tossing, diaper bag emptying, screeching monster.

I couldn't help but thinking only superhumans could be mothers.

It was the longest hour of my life.

Afterwards once we were home and she had the lay of the land again,

she came to me wrapped her arms around my leg and smiled.

I love that little monster.

xo

One of those days...

My mom and I many moons ago in the Gare du Nord station in Paris.

Today is one of those days.

The good kind.

The kind where I want to breathe in the good.

I can't believe how good life can be.

I wish I could bottle this feeling for one of those days when the sun isn't so sunny,

and things just don't seem right.

But I guess the beauty of experiencing the bad is that we appreciate the good infinitely more.

I am back in Utah.

Not in Happy Valley, but my home town.

I love it here.

Today we celebrated my mom's birthday.

My niece said she is 28 with 19 years of experience.

I listened to my brother talk about his job tonight.

He works with special needs children at a local school.

He inspires me to look for the good in everyone.

Life is good friends.

xo

Leaving on a jet plane...

Tomorrow morning I am traveling to Florida to spend 13 blissful days

just to see these girls. When did I plan this trip? Oh about 5 hours ago.

Gotta love $10 Jet Blue tickets!

Oh, did I mention I'm going with these girls?

Check back on Wednesday for Create!

xo

The Books on My Shelf

Sometimes I wonder.

I wonder about the books on my shelf.

What do they say about me?

I think they say that I am:

a goal maker,

a dreamer,

a planner,

a love searcher,

a hope finder,

a Christ seeker,

a learner,

an explorer,

a quote collector.

Somedays I wonder.

I wonder about little hands touching these books I've had for years.

Asking questions about these books.

Like, where they came from.

Or how many times I've read them.

Or why there are no pictures.

I imagine I will hold those little inquisitors very close and tell them stories I've known for years.

And in do time, the books on their shelves will tell them who they are.

xo

Tender Mercies Journal

(These girls make me so happy)

This last week I started something new.

I hope that it becomes a part of me.

I've told you that I've been going through a hard time,

so in light of that, I've been trying to figure out new ways to fortify:

My faith.

My self-esteem.

My patience.

My love for others.

Etc.

One thing someone told me to do was to keep a journal.

I decided to extend the idea to a Tender Mercies Journal.

It's only been a few days,

but I can promise you I've seen more miracles in the past few days

than I've ever noticed before.

I am so blessed.

xo

P.s. For my lovely friends who want to know more about tender mercies, read this. He puts it more eloquently than I could ever dream to do.

Ah Bliss!

(by yours truly)

Today is FRIDAY!

My very last Friday, of my very first semester here at the Y.

I'm more excited than I can say!

Plus the weather is beautiful!

I hope you have a blissful weekend!

xo

P.s. I've been missing London a lot lately. Probably because Flaqa will be going there soon.

Change

(taken by yours truly)

Maybe it's the snow slowly melting from the mountains, the reappearing birds, or the buds on the tree outside of my apartment, but I feel like change is all around me...and in some respects within me.

Change is one of those things I crave. Like chocolate. Sun. Or let's be honest, a cheesy movie. But when change does come my way, as it always does, I retreat. I want to cling to what I know, because that's safe. But getting what you want isn't about being safe. It's about being brave enough to change...or to accept change.

It doesn't have to be dramatic or even final. But it does have to happen.

Some changes require a house, a bigger car, love, a dress, a backpack, understanding, Facebook status(that's me being funny), a warmer coat, flip flops, patience, acceptance.

As my life takes an uncertain turn of events I feel blessed knowing in all of this change I will be taken care of. I know that there is a greater power in charge and that because I am his daughter I will be more than ok.

xo

Au Revoir

This was my to-do list yesterday....

Somehow I made it through most of it.

And at 3:20 I will get on flight 4555 heading to San Diego.

Have a beautiful weekend!

xo

Distracted

(Audrey Hepburn Complex)

Lately I've been distracted.

I don't like being distracted.

Normally.

Some day I might explain.

Today I won't.

Someday.

xo

P.s. I've had a fierce craving to build a fort lately. I just might put it on my to-do list for this weekend.

I {heart} Chile.

Last night I went to a charity event for the people of Chile.

I'm half Chilean.

I found myself tearing up as I viewed images and heard stories of the events during and after the earthquake.

I fell in love with these people of whom I have no connection to.

It made me want to do something to make it all better.

I realized I can't rebuild houses or even lives.

But I can pray.

I don't ask for favors from you, but if I did,

I would ask you to

please, please, please pray for Chile.

xo

P.s. Have a lovely Weekend!

Impossible Things

(sabino)

“I can’t believe THAT!” said Alice.
“Can’t you?” said the Queen in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”
Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said, “one can’t believe impossible things.”
“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why sometimes I believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!”

-Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

ct

Have a lovely weekend! Believe at least six impossible things.

xo

(p.s. this post was originally for my nieces, but I figured we all need a little reminder sometimes)

Summer Goals

You may think I'm jumping the gun by coming up with summer goals. This is not me being on top of things as much as it is me needing something to hold me over until the Polar Ice Caps defrost.

This summer I want to:

Spend a lot of time here...

Learn to make this...

Make this lovely...

Go on lot's of adventures here....

Sew one of these...
Wear a lot of these...
Eat an astronomical amount of these...

Drink lots of this...

Read this...

Enjoy a lot of these...
And forget about this....at least for a little bit.

xo

Post edit: I posted this last night...this morning I woke to a snowy provo. I think I'm supposed to learn to love the snow. I may take the advice of a friend who told me today, "When life gives you snow make sno cones."

When Santa is loosed....

Today in my D&C class we were discussing section 29....in a nutshell it's about the signs of the times and what happens before and after the second coming. My Professor mentioned that Satan will be loosed after "the little season". I scribbled that down. And a few seconds later I realized that I accidently wrote:

"Santa will be loosed after the little season to tempt us."

I then spent the next twenty minutes trying not to pee my pants every time I looked at my notes. I'm glad I can at least crack myself up. 

xo